Everyone handles medication differently. With me, pain killers and wild dreams go hand in hand.
I had two distinct dreams last night. The first was about my mother-in-law (MIL). Her husband has been doing triathlons for years and was the inspiration for me to do my first one back in early 2000s. For some reason, dream Maddi decided that she was going to do one and train with me for one next year. Odd if you know Maddi, but not altogether that wild.
For whatever reason, my next dream series was in the form of an analogy. And, that’s the way it came out during the dream – not after I woke trying to decipher the story line with a dream book in hand. It was a dream about my pain level. One aunt had mentioned that I would feel like I was hit by a train for a bit after surgery. While thinking about this – again during my dream – it occurred to me that I had avoided being hit by the train. As I was walking along the rosy path of life, with many ups and downs around me from time to time, I received warning that a fast-moving train was coming at me sometime in the future. And, the speed of the train would continue to increase as I kept growing older. Also it was going to start moving faster toward me as I continued along my path. The call gave me pause and I looked both ways. Things were clear – there weren’t even any tracks in sight. I kept on dreaming and the calls continued streaming in, mentioning that the train was determined and might only miss me by as low as a 15% chance.
Instead of turning off the phone ringer, I decided to investigate a little more. To pull away from the scenario, my dream brain jumped to yet another analogy involving rain (it was interestingly raining last night). The weather reporter stated that there was a 63 – 84% chance of rain. With that kind of chance, I figured I should find and pack our umbrellas. With the umbrellas packed, I continued moving along down the path. This time I was no longer walking but driving along with the umbrellas and my family. Dreams are so weird.
Off down the path again, with news coming in from all directions like ‘foggy ahead – poor visibility to spot oncoming train’ – we decided to take the bridge over the tracks. The bridge was scary looking and formidable in its own regard; however, as I walked over it by myself, I saw the train turn a different direction. When I got to the other side of the overpass, I was in pain but surrounded by smiling faces and helpful hands. My recollection of the dream ended shortly thereafter as I awoke from my fourth night of post-op sleep.
The two dreams were vastly different. I mentioned the triathlon one to my MIL. She told me that it was not a dream but a “nightmare!” With that settled – Maddi will not be doing a triathlon J – the second one is what I am left to ponder.
It was not a nightmare but a way to visualize the why and why not’s involved in taking recommended action for my BRCA diagnosis and contributing medical factors. My recollection will certainly change quickly as I get farther and farther away from the dream (as the memory of dreams often do), but I wanted to pen it down as best I could.
I am a visual person and this gave me perspective to the scenario. Yes, other obstacles are certain to come our way. But it seems this train has left the station. I am recovering from pain, but I can put my individual BRCA umbrella away. I plan on continuing to learn about this gene and others that might affect my family. And, I will need to be committed to healthy living to avoid other trains.
We do not get warnings for everything. I am thankful to have received one for this.